


Triptych

by IdrisTardis7878



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst, BROT3, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Like, Nell and Kensi and Deeks friendship, and a lot of pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 03:38:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16865425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdrisTardis7878/pseuds/IdrisTardis7878
Summary: Callen: "Kensi and Deeks took Nell home.“Triptych - A set of three associated artistic, literary, or musical works intended to be appreciated together.





	Triptych

**Author's Note:**

> The original author's note from when the fic was finally posted on May 2, 2015:
> 
> A/N: A post-Praesidium ficlet that’s been hanging out in my drafts for far too long. Mostly gen/friendship, with hints of Densi, Shaggy & Velma brotp, and Kensi & Nell friendship. Thanks to tooldtoship for the daily cheerleading!! It really helped me finally finish this!! I hope you all enjoy!!

_**Nell** _

The car pulls up to the curb and rolls to a stop so smoothly that Nell almost doesn’t notice they’ve arrived at her apartment until Kensi speaks, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "Nell?”

“Huh?” she sits up straight with a start, realizing only then that she’d been leaning her head against the passenger side window and staring unseeingly at the small patch of grass that passes for a lawn in front of her building. The cool pane of the glass had been pleasant against her cheek - she already missed it.

Shaking her head slightly, hoping that the persistent fuzziness that had lingered since they’d left Dovecote would finally recede, she unbuckles her seat belt and turns to face Kensi. “Thanks, uh, thanks for the ride,” she murmurs softly before turning quickly and moving to get out of the car.

The fuzziness in her head must have turned into a full-blown fog because before she knows it, she’s standing in front of the door to her second floor unit. Blinking stupidly at the familiarity of the smooth salmon-colored hallway walls and plain white door, she fumbles for her keys with fingers that feel unnaturally stiff. They fall to the doormat, but before she can bend to retrieve them, Kensi is there scooping them up.

“Hey, Nell, hey…how does some dinner sound? I know I’ve been starving for a couple of hours at least.” Kensi’s voice is kind, but not pitying, and when Nell turns to face her friend, all she sees in the other woman’s eyes is understanding.

Part of her wants to be left alone. She’s not really hungry, and curling up by herself with whatever alcohol is in her fridge is sounding pretty damn appealing right now. But she hears herself agreeing with Kensi’s suggestion, so a bigger part of her must really want the company, even if she doesn’t really want the food. “Okay,” she mumbles with a shrug and a nod, reclaiming her keys from Kensi and finally opening the door.

“Good,” Kensi smiles at her. “Because Deeks will be here with pizza in about fifteen minutes unless he got stuck in traffic.”

Nell glances up at her with an arched brow. “So I didn’t really have a choice then, did I?”

Kensi shakes her head, her smile still soft, her eyes still kind. “Nope.”

She sighs and deflates a bit, unsure whether she’s grateful or annoyed or somewhere between the two. They shuffle into the dark apartment, and Kensi turns on a dim light on the end table closest to the door while Nell continues further into the room. It’s awkward, and she thinks vaguely that it shouldn’t be - she knows Kensi and Deeks mean well - but she just doesn’t feel quite herself and she can’t muster up the energy to hide that. She mutters “I’m going to take a shower before Deeks gets here,” and steps through her bedroom door before Kensi can even respond.

Quickly shedding the remnants of Hetty’s suit - she hadn’t even thought to change once the mission was over - and grabbing a towel, she enters the bathroom, eager to wash everything about this day down the drain. But the moment she closes the door, she remembers exactly where in Dovecote the shootout she’d been involved in had taken place and a deep tension roots its hold in her stomach. Forcing herself to keep her breathing calm, she turns on the shower and steps in briskly.

Maybe when she gets out, everything won’t feel quite so awful, but she isn’t holding out too much hope.

-/-

_**Kensi** _

Left to her own devices when Nell slipped abruptly away, Kensi surveys the apartment’s small living room and kitchen. Nell’s plush L-shaped sofa dominates the living area, covered in a helter-skelter pile of patchwork pillows and throw blankets. The tiny kitchen is as tidy and clean as Kensi would have expected from Nell, save for the towering pile of cookbooks stacked precariously on the tiny desk nestled next to the fridge. She picks the top one up and flips through it aimlessly, more for something to distract herself with rather than any real desire to read, and wishes that Deeks would hurry the hell up.

Finally, exasperated with her missing partner, she whips out her phone and rattles off a quick text.  _Where did you go for that pizza? Italy?_

His reply pings in a little over a minute later.  _ **Miss me, Kensalina? Don’t worry. Traffic sucks - but I’m almost there. How’s Nellosaurus?**_

_She’s been better. But I think the pizza will help._

**_Copy that. See you in_ _five._ **

True to his word, there’s a knock on Nell’s door roughly five minutes later and Kensi swings it open to see her partner on the other side. Deeks is loaded down with two pizzas and a six-pack of beer. She arches a quizzical eyebrow in her partner’s direction when she notices that it’s her favorite brand, not Nell’s. Reading her look, Deeks grins. “Nell’s favorite pizza, your favorite beer,” his expression softens as he steps into the apartment and hands her the alcohol. He juggles the pizzas carefully and pulls something else out from the crook of his arm. “ _And_ a selection of everyone’s favorite movies.” He holds up a handful of DVDs and dangles them in front of her. “I know we’re here for Nell, but we all had a rough day,” he finishes softly.

She glances up at him again at that, her mind wandering back to the conversation they’d had in the boat shed after Agent Wallace had finished interrogating her. She can tell from the way he was looking at her now that his thoughts had traveled a similar path, so to lighten the rapidly sinking mood she teases him gently. “Is this one of those other ‘moments’ you promised?”

He smiles and moves around her to put the pizzas on Nell’s coffee table before plopping down in the middle of the plush couch. A thoughtful look crosses his face. “Mmm…not  _ **exactly**_ what I meant when I said that, but you know me. I can improvise with the best of them.”

Kensi snorts and goes to stow the beers in the fridge, pulling two out for herself and Deeks and opening them before moving to the couch. She settles herself next to him, close enough that their knees are touching and the soft fabric of his shirt rubs gently against her arm. There’s a part of her that longs for another hug like the one he’d given her this afternoon, but tonight they both need to focus on Nell’s well being so Kensi resolves to make do with the poor substitute of absorbing his body heat all along her right side. As is often the case, he seems to sense her mood without her having to say anything, and she can feel him lean against her slightly, the press of his shoulder into hers more comforting than she would have expected.

They slump back into the soft cushions almost as one, the weight of the day seeming to settle over them both. Kensi looks over at Deeks and reaches out to clink their beer bottles together. “Thanks partner,” she murmurs softly. Her gaze never straying from his, and she hopes that he can see everything she can’t put into words just then - that her gratitude is for far more than the beer and pizza. “I just…thank you, Deeks.”

He nods slowly, his eyes holding steady on hers as a grin inches its way across his face. His quiet, “anytime, Kens” is laced with the same tenderness she’d heard from him in the boatshed earlier and she knows that he’d instinctively understood what she’d been trying to tell him.

-/-

**_Deeks_ **

He opens his mouth to say something more, though truth be told he hasn’t really figured out what. Given the way that Kensi is looking at him in that moment, all he really wants is to reach out and envelop her in another hug - but he never gets the chance.

The bedroom door swings open and Deeks tears his gaze away from his partner, dissipating the energy that had been building between them. He looks over to where Nell is emerging, hair damp and swathed in pajamas and a fluffy robe that dwarfs her small frame. She seems hesitant to enter her own living room, lingering in the doorway, her hands absently twisting the belt of her robe into knots.

The sight of his friend in such obvious distress makes Deeks’ gut clench. “Hey there, Velma,” he murmurs, gesturing at the pizza boxes. “Don’t suppose you’re hungry?”

Nell turns away and heads towards the kitchen. “Actually,” she says softly, “I’m thirsty.”

Kensi turns, following Nell’s progress into the kitchen as well. “Oh, well Deeks brought beer too-” she stops speaking abruptly and Deeks can barely wonder why before he looks over at Nell himself and understands instantly.

She’d bypassed the fridge entirely and cracked open a fifth of what looks to be high quality whiskey, pouring out a hefty measure into a coffee mug that had been sitting on the counter and knocking it back without a pause. He shoots a concerned glance at Kensi, who’s already looking at him with furrowed brows, and when he turns back to Nell it’s to catch her as she finishes downing her second drink. She moves to pour a third and Kensi is on her feet before Deeks can even blink, hurrying over to where Nell stands.

He watches his partner talk to their friend, Kensi’s hushed tones indiscernible from where he’s sitting. A myriad of emotions plays across Nell’s face before her eyes squeeze shut. Kensi scoops her into a firm hug, patting Nell soothingly on the back, just as a muffled whimper escapes the smaller woman’s mouth. Her eyes catch Deeks’ above Nell’s head and he sighs, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

As he watches Kensi try to comfort Nell, Deeks is struck by a profound feeling of uselessness for the second time that day. Earlier, in the boatshed, he’d wanted so badly to take Kensi’s place in that interrogation, but all he’d been allowed to do was cool his heels in the outer room. He’d had to satisfy himself with annoying Agent Wallace’s flunkies as much as possible. But, he remembers, he was able to find a way to help Kensi afterwards, and with that in mind he stands slowly and crosses the small apartment.

He ducks into Nell’s bedroom, giving her a moment of privacy with Kensi and crossing it quickly to find her small bathroom. The air is still somewhat humid, and the mirror half fogged-over, but he doesn’t pay any of that too much attention. He finds what he’s looking for as fast as he can and heads back towards the kitchen.

When he reenters the room, Nell has stopped crying, but her head is still on Kensi’s shoulder and he can hear her sniffling. He steps closer to them, proffering the box of tissues he’d grabbed from the bathroom vanity and falling back on his signature humor in hopes of drawing a smile out of Nell. “C’mon now, if you keep that up you’ll be so stuffed up that you won’t be able to taste any of the Cinque Carne with double cheese.”

She grabs a fistful of tissues from him and huffs out a watery laugh that sounds far from alright, but he’ll take it. Between him and Kensi, they manage to shuffle Nell over to the couch and situate her between them. She doesn’t give up the mug containing her third whiskey, but over the next half hour or so she does eat a slice and a half of the pizza and only sips at the alcohol slowly.

They’ve been eating in silence, and Deeks is just about to suggest that they pop in one of the DVDs that he’d brought when Nell finally speaks again. “How…how do you…do you ever get over it?” The question is halting, her voice soft, and she isn’t looking at either of them when she asks. Deeks glances at Kensi, unsure if she’s going to answer, but she nods at him, so he turns his attention back to Nell.

“If you’re asking if you’ll ever forget it, I’m not going to lie to you - the answer’s no,” he says quietly, dropping his current slice of pizza back onto his plate and wiping his hands on his napkin before shifting on the couch to face Nell more fully. “Taking a life, Nell…it’s not a small thing. It  _shouldn’t_  be forgettable.”

She looks up at him, eyes huge and pleading. “But then…how do you  _live_ with it?”

He sighs, hand reaching up to scratch behind his right ear as he tries to find the right words. “It’s different for everyone…I can only speak for myself.” He looks at her squarely then. “I try to remember that when I use my weapon, it’s in defense - of myself or someone else,” he pauses, his thoughts carrying him back through some of his more difficult shooting incidents, swallowing hard before continuing. “That despite our line of work, I don’t start each day seeking to cause harm to someone.”

“And what if…what if that doesn’t help? What if that’s not enough?” she asks, her hands clenching and unclenching on her knees. He reaches out and covers one with his own, squeezing gently in an attempt to reassure her.

“Then…I try to send as much good out into the world as I can, do as much good as I possibly can,” this time his thoughts fly to the cases where he knows he’s made a positive difference, his work at the soup kitchen, and taking in a dog that everyone else had given up on. “It doesn’t erase the times I’ve had to take a life in the line of duty,” he offers her a small smile, “but it helps remind me that that’s not what defines me. And Nell, what happened today is  _far_ from what defines you.”

He looks up then to find Kensi watching him, the expression on her face a mixture of what looks like sadness, fondness, and pride. “You should listen to Deeks,” she says to Nell, “he’s been surprisingly insightful today.” She smiles at him softly, taking the sting out of her teasing words, and he winks back at her.

“Very funny, Kensalina. Now, Nell, you have a very important choice to make,” he says before releasing Nell’s hand and turning back towards the coffee table.

“What’s that?” Nell inquires, her voice scratchy but sounding a bit more like her usual self. He feels her lean forward as he picks up the DVD cases from the coffee table and holds them out to her.

“ _The Princess Bride_ ,  _The Goonies_ , or  _Holy Grail_ ,” he said, turning to her with a grin. The smile he gets in response as she mulls over the choices is smaller than he’d like, but it’s a start.

Right now, that’s all he can ask for.


End file.
